when i was lucky in life,
i didnt think about this;
if i'll still have flocks of people
swarming towards me
standing by me
being sweet and fiercely loyal
if i own, literally
nothing.


although only in my 20s. OK going to step into 20s~
i already had certain worries coming to me when i blew off the eighteen candles~ Ponder alot and starting to act like my age, nono, an auntie.

blame it on my bad for always acting ahead of my age group.
when i was a toddler, i was too sensible like a school kid.
in primary school~ act like a big sis.
in secondary, always wear a serious look though i do love giving cold jokes. :)
in poly, i was bagged down by growing up.
in uni, i was thinking about LIFE.


should do away with these thoughts. wasted so much of my youth.
asked dad today if im looking older. alright hes a great guy. so his answer was kind of indirect, to make me feel better. He said the cause is late night. Infact i dont mind learning about the truth, just hope people can stop being extraordinally kind at the right time. Because another word suitable for this: DECEIVING.


okay. still remember this
"we should love ourselves before anyone" -BERNICE.


since young, i didnt ever think of vying with the world, people around me or my very own friends for anything. Remember that my principal said this. If you want a good change (or success), you got to step out of your safety zone, moving to the danger zone to achieve it. All the time was thinking about stepping out of my boundary, breaking my own limits, reaching further for better personal achievements. You know, when you begin to own a mindset deliberate to vie for something with another person, most of the time you'll be led astray by your own desires because through the process you will hurt them with invincible, oops no invisible thorns and shones.


all these are inherent though. and often i associate them with peer influence (in other words, society) as the cause. Since the world is run like this. What can i do? Probably is to learn to look at the world with a pair of eyes with discreet. and act mercilessly to the unforgiveables.

i dont forget the wrongs done.
especially to me.

it helps you to grow.
imagine the amount ive met~~
gosh.

read this article today about a matter of choice of one's blog content~
and at our age, everyone looks yearning to tell a grandma story. You he she me too. And after listening to them, you'll go "what a problem considered small scale to mine" But i dont often tell too much, except to this one 'lady horse'. haha. prefer sharing the moments of the day or a recent great news. there people may mistake you as a shallow happy lark when you dont look sad enough to them OR a naggy old lady if you speak of it too often. Hence blogging is kind of a great place for the deposition of my inner thoughts. At least it helps people to understand you better. Afterall, the needed-to-be-told was present wholly right in front to be read through thoroughly. Everything you want to send forth, with no interruptions. No misquoting.