The serene night. Not much people on the street. Not much traffic.

I blast big bang's song. Wound down the window and feel my hand in the wind. Its entirely comfortable~ My hand went trembling cold after a mere 500m distance. i never experienced this before. I was someone cautious. So probably the one who lights the cigarette in amidst the drive knew it.(because only them who frequently put their hand out of the window) wholly pleasure. imagining if it were a parachute where your body can feel the wind. Or ok, now i thought of it. Lorry can have that effect too! I like sitting at the back of lorries. So when i thought life is still good and im feeling very happy as i reached home. i saw some stuff stuck at the wiper. Was it a flyer? It was a summon!

Issued at 10.34pm~~ Around the time when i started running away from the stadium into the estate. GODDAMN. I remember i finished my run at 10.54 . which is 20minutes later. And i had a 45min jog.

**lets go back to 9.27pm when evon just reach the stadium**

ohmy! the gym is closed at 9++pm? And the whole of indoor stadium was closed. That means no toilet for me~ Darn and im feeling a little urgency as i was around town before that. Okay, i need to go find a toilet. I decided to go to the petrol station.. after some detour, found one nearby. Okay. After i spent 5minutes in the toilet, it seemed like theres somebody waiting outside the cubicle. Given the fact theres only one cubicle, i came out and then let the lady enter first. before going in again to continue with my 'business'. Tada. Finished. And i went back to the stadium. It was around... 10.02pm. And all the time i always tore at least one 50cents coupon. If not one piece $1. Damn, because of all the time wasted at the loo and that most cars left the carpark. i thought the TP would not come in the night~ So.

If it wasnt for the run! I meant stomachache.

*****************************
and now im feeling fcuking pissed off for having to pay the summon. An opportunity cost of 29$ .. ..


for the time in the night when i could have think of you, i'll make myself run. I'll make myself work. Probably not for your sake. You didnt hold so much importance, not yet.

sometimes im unhappy. sometimes i feel im lucky, as much as all things were going against me. At times, i could even cheer myself up. Im reaching the extent that im not relying alot on anyone. Im still feeling wretched, lately. I could have whined to them, asked them out and talked about it. But hell no. Life is busy. School work is breathing down my neck. Chinese New Year is approaching. And right i still have my best friends khakis to meet. im trying to adjust myself. So that i'll feel cool about myself again. i dont know. I feel stressed at times. Everynight i found out the only time i'll have it to myself is when i could sit down at my desk, in front of my laptop, then i feel i own my time. If not i'll owe it to, rightfully books and m obligations. if not servicing PEOPLE, helping them run errands, giving lifts. Otherwise, help them with other stuffs which within my means. And I'll always be doing it. Not that i do not know rejecting. Merely i think i can give. Its within my means, and because they are my beloves. I'll do it. I really dont mind giving. I dont even mind taking a big step to service somebody else, before they are willing to do it for me, when i feel they are worth my every ouce of giving. At times im wondering, during my hard times, whether emotionally, financially, society-ly, or whatever. Will anyone be nice and come forward to give me a hand too? Im wondering, not because i expect someone to come do it for me. Im wondering as in. i wonder who will be my angel, one without my call. Well, i'll say i feel stressful in Uni, well due to time constraints.


Just now i tried walking on the track with my eyes close at cooling down. After a few steps, i could no longer imagine the distance. I cant cast a picture of the route in my mind. I begin to feel insecure. The track was a circumference of the stadium. Maybe im losing my direction. I knew either im gonna bang the left wall wires or tripped onto the rough surface on my right. Walking straight with your eyes close, required a large amount of courage. And probably, experience. As dejected as i was, im still one of the fortunate bunch. Lets start caring for everyone around you. They are pinning for us, just to be around.


i think im stuck at being pessimistic.
before i forget about this. Thanks edmund. You are the best uncle agony i can ever find, till to-date. Please remain at being the best.

then today on my way to the carpark in school, i met one hot guy, one resembling... Fahrenheit's WU ZHUN! . I was holding alot books that im certained that i'll have no free hands for the door knobs after the two set of staircase. Initially this cutie was walking behind me but then he was running down for the door. I was thinking. "Comeon -.-" because there were quite a number of immature dudes around in school. but then he held it for me. and i haven reached the level yet. Too shy to thank him properly, i merely nodded. When i was returning to class, i saw him again. Should have thanked him before i walked away! I like gentlemens!
tomorrow im going out with my poly best mates.
yeah. i love my girl friends.