Both the lanes were crowded. I found a spot where man and cars are scarce. Blast track number one. And I broke down.

I need a shoulder to cry on for tonight but i dont want trouble anyone again. And that i needed someone im comfortable with and i dont know who should be the one. Friends always tell me they will be there. When the time comes, who? For the umpteen times, i was still alone by myself tonight. I like being on my own anyway. Own time own target. without weighing my wounded heart down with another worries. Seriously. i was imagining. If anyone will reach me on my mobile and then come over to look for me. No one. Before i forget this, cecilia done it once. :) As i was wailing, i was reminded of the times when i brought him there for a let out.. how he wept in front of me and the comfort i sought on his broad shoulders. I didnt know a rocky friendship could upset me this much.

I particularly liked the song on my blog. Crazy woman, one of the tracks from East of Eden OST, performed by Lee HaeRi, Lee JungMin and Seeya's Kim YeonJi. The lyrics depicts a lovelorn woman. It truly reveal the vulnerability of a woman in love. Although i have not reached that stage, i could feel the words. Each of it, carved in my heart. For a moment, i shared the lyrist's thoughts. Thinking i couldnt pull through but i know i will because .. the worst of life is yet to be this. I did post the lyrics here in korean last time but today i shall do the translation for your convenience. This song heals, me.



How much did i love you
i laughed and cried because of you
i live because of you
did that bore you
did you not like me anymore
why did you leave me who knew only you

how much did i like you
you cared for me and protected me more than anyone
are you really leaving me
did you really forget me
i didnt know you were this kind of person

*though i cry for love
though i suffer for love
its alright, its my fault for loving you too much

it was just a luxury
only pain is left
only tears is left wetting my eyes

how do i erase you
how do i forget you
the scars you left in my heart will be there forever
i dont think it will heal even with time
seems i cant make it without you *

why do we part
everyone is envious of us
consider once more
remember once more
how much you loved me

**

i merely love you like crazy
why do you make me suffer

love is over
we are over

you cant love anyone
you cant be happy
if you are happy without me how do i live

i dont want to continue being like this
from love to lingering feeling
i wanted to throw them all away

even that i cant forget you . .


- Crazy woman -



i look forward to the day when i'll stop weeping over you.
i knew our position didnt change. it was still the same infact.
but i dont know why. i dont know why you could upset me this much either.
probably. im just hankering after the drama drama plot. stimulating my life.
or could it be because whats happening now fell below my expectation?
shrugs. sometimes i dont even know what im thinking. all i know is my emotionals always overflow. overrating a problem. Too sensual didnt i? anyway im growing, growing up. Endearing every failure. I promised i wont be expecting too much in the future again. Because i couldnt bear the disappointments which follow after.
FOUR more days. 4 x 24= 96 hours. i'll be freed.