Last thurs, 12 march 2010

my first terrapin died.

i tried saving it, after my return.
I thought it will survive. For two hours, it struggled and then leave me..

I was back from outside. My terrapin began looking terrible again.
I checked with my parents. They said it look normal throughout the day but I knew it wasnt. I wanted to rush it to the vet. My wallet is empty from the shopping spree. So i brought it along with me to the atm, in a small round plastic container, then bring it to the pet fish shop to get another more solid container, to bring to the vet. Who knows, the pet shop owner lady told me my terrapin is okay. Rubbish! I was then hoaxed into buying a bottle of vitamins, eye solution and terrapin food from her. I was helpless and was looking for some good advices. Since hers was proposed at the right time, i chose to adopt it. I brought my sick terrapin home, seperating it from the good one in the container. I thought i could save it. Following the right procedures the lady taught me. But it was still very feeble. Around 9pm and i still haven had my dinner cos im really worried about my terrapin. I sat by it and watch the tv. Till 940pm i checked again. It was still looking very forlorn. Its upset eyes stared into the blank. Its expression is still registered in my mind. I couldnt forget. Seriously. I shook it a little to make sure it wakes up. It moved to a corner and stay in the water wide eyes open. I thought its able to sense that i was trying to retrieve its little life with the vitamin water that it immersed itself totally in the water to absorb the nutrients. Its eyes were still wide open.

At 10 pm, i feel things were wrong when its not having any reaction for so long. I shook the container and found that its dead!. Know what? Terrapin died with their eyes open! Im terribly shooked that a cold chill ran up my spine causing my neck to tingle. I shouted to my parents,"its dead!!" And then i shouted to its friend "Hey! your friend is dead!" Seconds later i burst out in tears. It left me right before my eyes and i was unaware! This upheaval gushed in me. Should have brought it to the vet didnt i? I blamed myself. It waited at least two hours before i could rush it to an experienced vet, WHOM i dont know where i can look for one! I cried my lungs out. Like love ones leaving me despite its only a month old. I had already developed bonds with this adorable terrapin. I looked at them everyday i knocked off work. Every morning before i left home. I took great care of them. I love them both so much, so much. Now i understand the reason it went to peep the tank it used to reside in. It was bidding its childhood terrapin friend goodbye, isnt it?! Till now i still feel very upset. My nose went slightly sour.

That night, i wept for one hour. I miss my terrapin. I love the way it slept on the rock. How it shunned from me everytime i try to scare them. How it used to sleep with the other terrapin. Leaning on each other, using its shell. And, looking so fat! It ate so much all the time, with the other terrapin. Both of them were always hungry. Begging me for more food, more food! Now its dead. Its head just moved with the water current as i shook the box. How i wish its just playing dead. No, its gone already! i showed the healthy terrapin its friend and tell him shes dead~

Fortunately a close friend of mine came over to my house and accompanied me to bury it in a neighbourhood spot. I chose the small hill opposite my house. The bottom of the hill.

People used to refer to a hill/mountain as a turtle, tortoise or terrapin. I hoped its just like the hill people referred to; offering everyone there a support. Depressing. I haven brought you out to sun bask at east coast, i haven carried you in my car. You .. haven gone through with me the good times, the hard times. I haven given you a good life. You haven had the time to listen to my story. And now you left me, and your lonely friend in the tank. He looked so sad after you are gone. It was no longer swimming actively in the day. When i try to communicate with him and made him realise you are long gone and will never return. He seemed to know what is going on as he remained silent in the water. He pins for your return, too, just like me. In the night, he used to creep next to you, gaining warmth. A real-timid, hiding under you in the dark as he slept. You are such a brave nice girl. He always like to disturb and fight with you but you two were still best friend. Only having each other for companion all the time. Currently hes no longer as excited when food came. He slept alone in the night. It kept itself under water. From his sleeping posture, i know hes scared. He might speculate i have you slaughtered! But you knew i didnt! I hope time could prove my innocence and he will understand. At times i caught him sleeping alone, moving in the water with his eyes close. Did you return to play with him, naughty! Sometimes i peeped at him in the day, he felt lonely and upset. I got him a new guy friend one week after you were gone. I hope he likes his new friend just like how he adores you. Dont be angry. I knew you were his utmost love when he isnt as happy with the new friend. You dont want him alone neither isnt it. so.. hais.

God how i miss you. Miss how you laze on the rock lazily, and taking so many day naps. I miss the times you and the other terrapin having each other for support as you guys got so afraid whenever i brought you to a new environment, and then you guys will be all over each other, looking at the world together, together with me. Now you are buried in the soil of the hill i used to play around at. With a bed of your favourite food under you, i hope you are no longer hungry as you were. I really wanted to take good care of you both till i get rich get old. But, all i can say is.

I am sorry.
I miss you terribly.
No other terrapin will be the same like you.
I know. I have lost you and i will never get one same terrapin again.

I pray that you are doing well there the other space, and that you will live longer the next lifetime!


From your dearest owner, my terrapin.